Total Recall

Never mind that Colin Farrell twat, Big Alan Shearer knows how to recreate an early 90s action classic better than no man. The towering Geordie striker found himself in Seascale, Cumbria today and, good heavens, he certainly had his hands full with local bint and former Sellafield technician Kimberley “50% extra” Hyde. That’s one closer to his target of banging 206 record-breaking slags to raise awareness of the underfunding of our Armed Forces. Good lad.

103 – 1 = 102 to go!

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