Cooking up controversy

The BBC ought to hang its head in shame today after refusing to air big Alan Shearer’s appearance on the popular yet tedious cookery show Saturday Kitchen. BBC Director General George Entwistle “justified” his decision by moaning that the explicit sexual content on the Geordie number 9’s performance would not have been suitable pre-watershed let alone on a Saturday morning family show. This comes only days after he claim to want to put originality at the heart of BBC policy. What could be more original than having Alan Shearer fuck some hot piece of ass on a cookery show? Let’s call it what it is, nonsense. When push comes to shove the BBC just don’t want to stick their necks out and openly criticise the lack of military funding in this so-called country for fear of having their funding cut as a consequence. Put simply: they have no balls. Luckily there is a man who does have the balls, Alan Shearer. Not only did Alan pummel the heck out of this nubile brunette as part of his campaign to raise awareness of the plight of our Armed Forces by banging 206 record-breaking slags, he also trumped Paul Rankin’s three-egg omelette challenge record of 15.12 seconds by cooking the perfect omelette in a staggering 9 seconds. What a guy! Shame the BBC pulled the plug on the broadcast.

101 remain on the To Do list.

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