As we all know the Newcastle elders wor Kev and Peter are busy men, if they’re not up to nowt they are up to fuck all, and all the respectful daren’t interupt. But today they allowed Greg Splatter of Notanews to tape an exclusive discussion on the barrier breaking Felix Bumhammers jump into the record books with a fucking immature waste of tax payers money.
Kev- So did yee hear aboot tha Felix lad jumping frem outer space man ?
Pete- Yee mean te syah a fucking moggie is parachuting? Ah fuckin telt you!!!
Kev- Nah man its a fucking man man , an he fell soo fast he broke the soond barrier.
Pete- Ah divvnae hear aboot it man .
Kev- Yee wouldn’t hev it wez tee fast.
Pete- What wez ? The moggie o the soond .
Kev- The man MAN!!!
Pete- Whatwas he deein up in space then?
Kev- Probably needed some welding dyun
Pete- He should be more canny than te fall.
Kev- They’re aal the same these cowboy mechanics.
Pete- Ya tellin me man! Probably charged NASA a fortune.
Kev- Me nephews a shit-hot welder man . He’d of probably dyun a betta job than tha Felix monkey an given them a little discount if he could hev worn a space suit.
Pete- Why won’t yee let him wear yer spacesuit Kev?
Kev- I’ve already telt yee why! Stop gannin on aboot it!
Pete- Ah haven’t browt it up in ages.
Kev- Well Ah divvent knaa abot tha Pete.
And like that they left. Giving us all something to think about.