After slacking a little of late, the world’s tallest six foot man found himself in Ashford, Kent today as his much-publicised campaign to raise awareness of the lack of military funding in this so-called country by banging 206 record-breaking slags was due a kick start. And what better way to do so than with local dinnerlady and filthy foot fox Theodora Atkins. A small but respectful crowd gathered at St Mary’s Church to witness the man-mountain that is Alan Shearer find his feet once more in the race to change the moneymen’s attitude to our Armed Forces and reverse spending cuts. Miss Atkins father and long time pinko troublemaker, Graham, was conspicious by his absence – some times parents just don’t understand!
100 yet to be pummelled