Her Royal Highness personally praised the world’s tallest six foot man, Alan Shearer, in her Christmas Day address calling his tireless campaigning against the lack of military funding by banging 206 slags “an enormous degree of the dedication and effort.” So high was her respect for Big Al’s cause that she invited him to give a behing-closed-doors set at Windsor Castle today whilst she ate her Christmas chips and battered swan. Mr. Shearer didn’t disappoint. The monarch clapped with delight as he sleighed local army wife and would-be choir singer Kelly Burns. Her Majesty told exclusive NOTA reporters afterwards that of course she expected Mr. Shearer to be good “but perhaps most striking of all was to witness the strength.”
99 to go!