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206 jokes

Joke #153

Q: What are Alan Shearer’s favourite chocolates?

A: After Eight


206 jokes

Joke #54

Q: What number bus rescues vulnerable Geordies from persecution in Sunderland and takes them via Fulwell,  Bolden, Hedworth, York Ave, Jarrow, Tyne Tunnel, Percy Main and Royal Quays finally to safety in North Shields and also transports Mackem criminals back from North Shields to Sunderland?

A: The number 9

Stand up and be counted!

206 jokesWe know you have been worried. We here at NOTA have been worried. Let’s be honest, everyone has been worried. Worried why Big Al’s campaign to bang 206 record-breaking slags to raise awareness of the lack of military funding in this so-called country has fallen so silent this year. What on earth has the £15 million super-striker been up to since last December? Well, as it turns out, he’s been trying his hand a stand up comedy! We were as surprised as no doubt you are now – unless you’re one of the lucky 206 record-breaking audience members to attend the recording of Shearer’s new live DVD (out soon in time for Christmas!). Here’s a little taste:
Joke No.36
Q: What is Alan Shearer’s favourite car?
A: The Peugeot 206.
Q: Which model?
A: 2006 model, which was its 9th year of production.

Someone’s doing it for the Boys: Fake Signer

signlanguageAs one legend dies, another steps up! From the BBC:

“Deaf viewers of Nelson Mandela’s memorial service have complained that the official sign language interpreter was a fraud who was “signing rubbish”.The Deaf Federation of South Africa told the BBC the man’s signs were “arbitrary” and “did not make sense”. The man, who has not yet been publicly identified, was seen on stage signing as friends and family of Mr Mandela, and world leaders, paid tribute to the former South African president. The government is investigating. It said on Wednesday it had as yet been unable to get to the bottom of the allegations “due to the demanding schedule of organising events related to the State Funeral”. But, in a statement, the government said it “wishes to assure South Africans that we are clear in defending the rights and dignity of people with disabilities”.‘Making a mockery’ Major national and international news channels broadcast Mr Mandela’s state memorial service live on Tuesday. The man, suited and wearing a pass around his neck, stood next to key speakers such as US President Barack Obama and Mr Mandela’s grandchildren translating their eulogies. During the broadcast, Wilma Newhoudt-Druchen, South Africa’s first deaf female MP, tweeted: “ANC-linked interpreter on the stage with dep president of ANC is signing rubbish. He cannot sign. Please get him off.” ”

On the other hand, we here at NOTA consider this gentleman an example to be followed. Top marks!