Lord Justice Leveson’s “measured, reasonable and proportionate” rant yesterday on the standards of so-called journalism in this country left all who heard it on the brink of tears. It was even acknowledged by the Prime Minister Dave Cameron who stood up in the House of Commons, said something and then sat back down. Everyone knew that the time had come to act but no one knew just how to; Charlotte Church and Anne Diamond called for the Army to be brought in to supervise editorials; indignant newspaper men argued that it was their God-given right to print outright lies.
However all was not lost. There were a few calm souls. Top newspaper men from the more sensible end of the press spectrum agreed with the spirit of Leveson’s report however felt the Church-Diamond solution was a step too far and would jeopardize free speech in the long run. Instead they quite sensibly called for more self-regulation of the press but this time to be spearheaded by the only man that could stop wreckless journalists wreaking havoc and running amok in our streets: Devil-may-care Lenny Henry (pictured below harrassing Kanye West).
In light of the recent Tory fundraising scandal, it has emerged that NOTA’s own devil-may-care Lenny Henry has paid large sums for attain influence in Downing Street.
As Beyonce and Jay z celebrate the birth of their first child, and reveal to the world that the diva had previously had a miscarriage. Nota can reveal that DMC Lenny had been interfering stating, ” I like a kip me like and thought Beyonces wet pocket looked dead comfy, but when I sneaked up there some other cunt was there so I got rid of him sharpish and waited for her to queef me out. Dead funny having rich parents like.”
Happy New Year
Listen readers, I’m a bit drunk but I just wanted to say thanks for the continued support throughout 2011. You’ve been in another class to your run-of-the-mill blog reading cunt, you really have! Now I know what you’re thinking, did Big Alan Shearer bang those slags in the above photograph and thus adding a further three onto his already impressive score? Needless to say, of course he did. Even when he is celebrating the coming new year he’s still performing charitable deeds. Good lad! That’s 121 to go for that man Alan Shearer in his quest to raise awareness of the grossly limited budget of our Armed Forces by bedding 206 record-breaking slags. Wor Kev and Peter called first dibs on sloppy seconds.
Honestly though, you’ve been great followers of our humble news feed, and I’m pleased to say we’ve got some real treats in store this year for you so keep those eyes glued to your favourite blog. Now I’ve got to get back to the party. Hopefully Devil-may-care Lenny Henry hasn’t done what I think he might . . . Oh fuck he has.